Thursday, August 5, 2010

Reflections on 8 Months of Marriage

Today Paula and I celebrate our eight month anniversary, which means its only four months until we've been married a full year!  I've heard that a year is when you've 'made it' as a married couple, so I can't wait.  Here are some (fairly random) thoughts:
  • Being married is awesome
I guess this isn't terribly deep, but I've loved being married these past few months.  It's been so much fun living with my best friend, and being a team in the proper sense of the word.  There's something cool and mysterious and exciting about being able to look forward to a future together, and knowing that you've got someone watching your back through thick and thin.  We've particularly enjoyed being able to be hospitable and welcoming to people as a team, and invite people around without having to check with flatmates!  Overall, my experience with being married has been cool (based largely on my choice I think), and I can look forward to it getting better as we get to know each other more and more.
  • It's easy to forget things
As with haircuts, land development, and slavery (in the case of the Israelites), it is harder than you'd think to remember what things were like before being married.  The struggles of going out seem like a distant memory, and now I can't quite fathom why some of the things that consumed my mind back then seemed so important.  This is quite a strange phenomenon, and probably worth writing about at length some other time.
  • Being romantic is harder when you're married
I'd always heard how keeping romance alive when married takes more work than beforehand, but I never realised quite how sudden the change would be.  It was almost like with the flick of a switch, things got harder in this regard.  That's not to say that enjoying being with your partner is harder, just that doing the special, surprising stuff is more difficult.  Part of the problem I think is that, because you enjoy more time together, there seems less need to make the times together special.  It's also harder to be sneaky and keep things a secret when she lives with you.  This isn't an excuse though, and I'll definitely be working on this.
  • There's nothing quite like marriage to cure pride
I've learnt a lot of things over the past eight months.  Probably the biggest thing, though, has been learning to get over myself and apologise for doing stupid stuff.  Though I had to do this every so often before Paula came on the scene, now the stakes are much higher.  I know how destructive pride can be in a marriage, so one of the best, but most painful things about the last few months has been the steep learning curve in what it means to humble myself.

Thanks Paula for eight amazing months, I look forward to many more!

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